Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Me! :-) A portrait of God's Healing!

For those of you who know me, it's very rare to get a photograph of me. I absolutely hate to get my photo taken. My husband took this and at the time I was wearing no makeup and just goofing around in the yard. I wasn't always camera shy. I was raised in a family where physical appearances like makeup, clothing and weight were not important. My mom taught me that the heart is what matters and not what you wear or how much money that you make. You can't take clothing or money to heaven. I grew up never worrying about weight or how much money my parents made. I never was overweight, in fact I actually was a size 16 child until just before my second semester at college. I never had the upper curves that girls want so much, but seriously it wasn't a priority to me. I was blessed with a very abundant backside though which eventually was the cause of my present insecurity. All the way through college I never was afraid to have my picture taken. It wasn't until a comment was made by an angry adult that broke me into tears and a depression that has just recently been released. Since that comment was made, I would hide behind the camera and would throw away or delete any pictures of me that I didn't like. I would cry when I would see photos of myself because all I could see what the flaws in me that were pointed out. I went into a deep depression and actually gained weight. Despite the fact that I am pretty and have a husband that daily and hourly lets me know that I'm beautiful, all I could see was what needed improvement. Through constant love and support of my husband and my family; and divine healing from God, I finally am proud of who I am and once again feel comfortable with having my picture taken. I am also losing weight (with and without too much exercise I might point out) and not really changing too much about my life. My one prayer is that all the young ladies that I encounter through life, will know how beautiful they are, inside and outside. I pray that they never feel inadequate because they aren't physically perfect like the glossy pictures in magazines, I want them to see themselves as God sees them, PERFECT. I also pray that my boys become husbands that are not obsessed with appearance as well. I pray that they look for wives that are beautiful on the inside and out. I pray that they are supportive of their wives the way my husband is and that they give their wives constant affirmation of their beauty.
(I'm so thankful for in internet cache system which allowed me to restore my blog entries again....did you realize that once you publish something on the internet and then delete it, that it doesn't actually disappear...I didn't either until I accidentally came upon a couple of my old blog entries and was able to restore them!!!)